Sure Signs That Your Husband’s Hitch Is Almost Over
He texts you a countdown every morning. 5 more days, 4 more days, 3 more days…
Your response to every text from him says either, “HURRY! The kids are driving me CRAZY!” or “HURRY! I don’t know how much longer I can do this!”
Your legs are freshly shaven! The first time in weeks!
You are wearing something other than yoga pants.
The house is clean(er).
Every household appliance starts working perfectly.
Your car runs perfectly.
Your children stop behaving like the monkeys they have been for the past two weeks. And they’re healthy.
You have food in the fridge.
You have caught up on all your DVR’d shows. You know, the ones he won’t watch with you. Reality shows. So You Think You Can Dance. The Voice.
Your laundry pile isn’t stacked to the ceiling anymore.
The children are waiting by the window for his truck to appear on the street.
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How do you know when it’s almost time for your husband to come home for days off?
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